Ride the Mommy Train

In a bizarre medical case that highlights the unexpected risks of everyday activities, a 54-year-old man was rushed to the emergency room after suffering a severe lung injury while masturbating.
The incident, documented in the Canadian Medical Association Journal (CMAJ), began when the man, feeling a sneeze building, attempted to stifle it by pinching his nose and closing his mouth—a maneuver known as a “valsalva maneuver.” However, he performed this action while simultaneously straining during masturbation.
This combination of forceful bodily actions created a perfect storm of internal pressure. The pressure build-up was so intense that it caused his lung to spontaneously collapse—a condition medically known as a “pneumothorax.” The man arrived at the hospital complaining of sharp chest pains, a swollen neck, and difficulty swallowing.
Doctors quickly identified the issue: not only had his lung collapsed, but air had leaked into the space between his lungs and chest wall, and even into the deep tissues of his neck. This condition, called “subcutaneous emphysema,” was the cause of the unusual swelling.
Fortunately, the treatment was straightforward. Doctors inserted a chest tube to re-inflate his lung, a procedure that was successful. After a brief hospital stay for observation, the man made a full recovery.
The case serves as a stark reminder from physicians that holding your breath during strenuous activities, whether lifting weights or during moments of intense physical exertion, can be dangerously stressful on the body. While the circumstances are rare, the underlying principle is a crucial one: the body’s internal systems are not designed to withstand such sudden, high-pressure events.

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room—or more accurately, the one that’s often alone. The topic of male masturbation is often shrouded in jokes and whispers, but what do the numbers actually say? A deep dive into the data reveals a landscape that is both varied and, frankly, impressive in its scope.
Forget the bravado-filled boasts you might hear in a locker room; real research paints a more nuanced picture. Studies, such as those frequently cited by health organizations, suggest that the “average” frequency for men ranges from a few times a week to a few times a month. This “average,” however, is a statistical phantom. The reality is a vast spectrum, with some men doing so daily and others rarely at all. Factors like age, relationship status, stress levels, and overall health are the real conductors of this one-man orchestra.
So, why is there so much variation? It’s perfectly normal. For many, it’s a natural way to manage stress, improve sleep, or simply enjoy some solo relaxation. The idea that it’s harmful or depletes some mythical “life force” is a relic of outdated myths. In fact, the primary “risk” associated with frequent masturbation is usually just a bit of chafing—a problem easily solved with a good moisturizer and a change of technique.
The bottom line? The “right” number of times is whatever feels healthy and normal for the individual. It’s a deeply personal aspect of health and well-being, not a competition. So, whether you’re a once-a-month maverick or a daily devotee, the most important takeaway is that it’s a common, healthy part of life. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to go… uh… proofread this article one more time.