Blitzkrieg the Pussy

Nigerian officials made a startling discovery in the north-central city of Kontagora last week – thousands of dried donkey penises being smuggled out of the country. The donkey parts were found hidden in a truck headed to Hong Kong, where they are highly valued for use in traditional Chinese medicine.

This massive seizure sheds light on a booming and sinister trade that has wreaked havoc on Nigeria’s donkey population. As demand for donkey skins and body parts has skyrocketed in China in recent years, Nigerian donkeys have been slaughtered by the millions to feed this illicit industry.

Conservationists warn that unchecked, this rapidly growing trade could spell extinction for Nigerian donkeys. Already, the country’s donkey population has plunged from around 3 million in 2016 to just 800,000 today as smugglers try to cash in.

In an effort to halt this alarming decline, Nigeria banned the export and slaughter of donkeys in 2016. However, international criminal networks have continued the brutal trade by smuggling donkey parts out of the country to meet surging demand in China.

The recent seizure of over 3,000 donkey penises was a major bust by Nigerian authorities trying to crack down on this cruel and illegal trade. Officials warned that smugglers caught with donkey parts will face arrest and prosecution as the government continues its fight to protect the nation’s donkeys.

For now, the confiscated donkey penises are set to be destroyed, preventing them from reaching buyers in Hong Kong. But the bigger challenge remains ending the shadowy transnational networks that drive the intense hunting of Nigerian donkeys and the horrors of the illicit donkey skin trade.

A man from Italy is seeking €400,000 (£354,000) in compensation after surgeons allegedly wrongly amputated his penis, believing it to be cancerous. It was later discovered that he had a form of syphilis that could have been treated with medication. The surgery occurred in November 2018 at San Donato Hospital in Arezzo, Tuscany, and the patient, now 68 years old, intends to take the 35-year-old urologist responsible to court. A preliminary hearing in a court in Arezzo next month will determine whether the case will proceed to trial. The man has requested anonymity due to the sensitive nature of the situation and claims to have suffered significant physical and psychological harm. The surgeon, who is highly respected, no longer works at the Tuscany hospital but now operates in a Milan hospital. According to local newspaper Corriere di Arezzo, the man’s experience was both painful and embarrassing.

A recent study has unveiled that a substantial 7.4 million individuals in the United Kingdom have engaged in self-pleasure during their working hours.

The advent of remote work has brought with it a range of perks, including the luxury of sleeping in, eliminating the daily commute, and, surprisingly for some Britons, the occasional moment of self-indulgence.

In a survey conducted by Chemist4U, involving 2,000 participants, a noteworthy 14 percent openly confessed to indulging in some personal gratification while on the job.

The survey findings indicate that more than a fifth of men (22 percent) have engaged in self-pleasure while working, while seven percent of women have also chosen to have some alone time during their workday. Furthermore, 18 percent of the surveyed individuals admitted to accessing adult content during work hours.

Notably, London emerged as the city with the highest prevalence of on-the-job self-stimulation, with 16 percent of respondents admitting to this practice.

The study also discovered that individuals earning between £35,001 and £45,000 annually were the most likely to engage in this behavior. Those earning between £25,001 and £35,000 per year exhibited a 24 percent likelihood, while those earning between £15,001 and £25,000 per year demonstrated an 18 percent likelihood.

The age group most frequently engaging in this activity was those aged 25 to 34, with 27 percent participating, followed by 35 to 44 year-olds at 18 percent, and 45 to 54 year-olds at 15 percent.

Surprisingly, experts suggest that engaging in self-stimulation during work hours may actually enhance productivity. Psychology lecturer Mark Sergeant from Nottingham Trent University asserted that this activity can improve concentration.

Psychologist and life coach Dr. Cliff Arnall even suggested the implementation of a ‘masturbation policy’ in workplaces to boost company morale. He expressed the belief that such a policy could result in increased focus, reduced aggression, heightened productivity, and improved employee well-being.

However, he cautioned that any such policy should have strict limitations, with a focus on ensuring that employees do not engage in inappropriate behavior or fantasize about their colleagues.

So, for those working from home, it appears that the occasional self-stimulation session might just be the perfect stress-reliever to add a little excitement to the workday, according to these findings.