Blitzkrieg the Pussy

German chancellor Angela Merkel demonstrates the size of dong that is required to blitzkrieg that pussy to U.S. president Barack Obama at Schloss Elmau hotel near Garmisch-Partenkirchen, southern Germany, Monday June 8, 2015 during the G-7 summit. (Michael Kappeler/Pool Photo via AP)

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Civil War Letter Reveals Soldier’s Taboo Addiction to MasturbationCivil War Letter Reveals Soldier’s Taboo Addiction to Masturbation

A recently surfaced 1864 letter provides a glimpse into a little-discussed affliction among Civil War soldiers – chronic masturbation.

The handwritten note by Confederate Lt. William Dandridge Pitts inquires about the condition of his brother Charles, who was discharged from the army in 1862 due to an unspecified “illness.” Charles was residing at the Western Lunatic Asylum in Virginia.

According to Charles’ doctor and accounts from fellow soldiers, his illness was a relentless addiction to masturbation. “I have had some conversation with the physician who attended my brother previous to his going to the asylum,” Lt. Pitts wrote, “and he advises me…that [Charles] was addicted to masturbation, while in camp.”

The letter highlights the mental health toll of the war, even before combat began. Soldiers forced to endure their comrades’ “self-pollution” no doubt developed deep psychological scars.

While masturbation remained taboo in the Victorian era, it was pervasive enough in the military to earn the nickname “Johnny Reb.” The irony of this affliction among troops from Virginia, the “state for lovers,” was surely not lost on the Pitts family.

The letter survives in excellent condition despite its delicate subject matter. This “director’s cut” offers intimate insight into secret struggles in Civil War ranks.

Doctor ‘cuts off man’s penis’ after mistaking syphilis for cancerDoctor ‘cuts off man’s penis’ after mistaking syphilis for cancer

A man from Italy is seeking €400,000 (£354,000) in compensation after surgeons allegedly wrongly amputated his penis, believing it to be cancerous. It was later discovered that he had a form of syphilis that could have been treated with medication. The surgery occurred in November 2018 at San Donato Hospital in Arezzo, Tuscany, and the patient, now 68 years old, intends to take the 35-year-old urologist responsible to court. A preliminary hearing in a court in Arezzo next month will determine whether the case will proceed to trial. The man has requested anonymity due to the sensitive nature of the situation and claims to have suffered significant physical and psychological harm. The surgeon, who is highly respected, no longer works at the Tuscany hospital but now operates in a Milan hospital. According to local newspaper Corriere di Arezzo, the man’s experience was both painful and embarrassing.

Do Men Buy Flashy Cars to Overcompensate? Study Finds Truth in Old StereotypeDo Men Buy Flashy Cars to Overcompensate? Study Finds Truth in Old Stereotype

Do Men Buy Flashy Cars to Overcompensate? Study Finds Truth in Old Stereotype

A new study suggests there may be some truth to the old stereotype that men buy flashy sports cars to compensate for lacking in other areas. Researchers at a London university set out to explore if feelings of inadequacy about penis size motivate men to seek out symbols of virility like sports cars.

The team manipulated participants’ perceptions of their manhoods by presenting misleading information intended to make some men feel below average in endowment. These men were then more likely to express interest in buying a sports car, suggesting they may use conspicuous consumption to boost self-esteem.

The effect was strongest among men over 29, who showed statistically significant increased desire for sports cars after receiving small penis misinformation. The study indicates that age impacts mating strategies, with older men more motivated to showcase status to overcome perceived inadequacies.

This builds on earlier research finding sports cars help men attract dates but don’t necessarily signal long-term partner potential. The authors suggest further study into whether other luxury items similarly compensate for male insecurities.

Of course, flashy cars likely provide an ego boost regardless of the driver’s anatomy. But this study sheds light on the deep-seated psychology potentially at play for midlife men gripped by sports car fever. While pop culture has long joked about compensation, this research suggests a real link between feelings of inadequacy and conspicuous consumption.